Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Damn victory sex feels great
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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