Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
