U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
