Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
