I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
