I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
