Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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