What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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