when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
