dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
