so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
