i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
