Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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