Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
