with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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