and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Mom said you looked used
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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