Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
