just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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