Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
