let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
