She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
