the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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