there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
