How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
