Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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