ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
