too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
