i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
