the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
