Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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