apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
