It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
