I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
