stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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