drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
