i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
