Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
