He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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