and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
