New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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