Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
