out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
