I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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