Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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