Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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