Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Barsexuality is the new black.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
