no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
