i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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