playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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