Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
