So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
