Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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